In recent years there has been an increase in converts leaving various protestant denominations and joining the Catholic Church. For many converts, conversion is motivated by a recognition of the need for Church authority. Without authority, Christianity seems doomed to endless division as evidenced by the hundreds of diverging protestant denominations. At FORGE we have seen multitudes of new converts joining our small groups and looking for guidance during their first few years within the Catholic Church. We wrote this article for both recent converts and long-time Catholics looking to support them. In what follows, we draw from recent Catholic convert Keith Nester’s “The Convert’s Guide to Roman Catholicism,” which we commend to you (see HERE). Keith Nester spent many years as a Protestant pastor and now devotes much of his career to supporting Catholic converts. For a more thorough discussion of the below points, please click the podcast link for a discussion with Nester himself.
Listen to the author's commentary on our podcast.
Tip #1: Do NOT Have a Holy War
Becoming Catholic is exciting for most new converts, and it should be! Most new converts quickly become zealous defenders of Church doctrine and proponents of Catholic devotion. That’s great! Nevertheless, it is important for new converts to remember that some ways of expressing conviction do more harm than good. As a general rule, Keith Nester encourages new converts (1) to avoid long social media posts, (2) to not assume that people will hate them for becoming Catholic, (3) to welcome conversations, (4) to more readily speak positively of the Catholic Church than make negative statements about Protestant churches, and finally (5) to prioritize one’s own spiritual health.
That last point is worth highlighting. Often when converts enter the Catholic Church, they are very quick to enter ministries and publicly defend the faith. While we certainly do not wish to diminish the zeal of the newly converted, we want to encourage new converts to take some time to get their bearings and savor the goodness of the Catholic Church. Sometimes it is best to lay a little personal foundation before building advancing public efforts.
Tip #2: Prioritize Community
The Christian life is best lived in the context of community. The unfortunate reality is that many new converts lose community when they join the Catholic Church. Their relationships with long-standing friends are often weakened or lost. Thus, it is critically important that Catholic converts build new relationships in their parish and local Church. What does that look like in practice? For recent converts, it looks like setting time aside to attend community-oriented Catholic events either at your parish or local non-profits.
For those who wish to support new Catholics, it looks like going out of your way to introduce new converts into your circles. When Saint Paul shared the gospel, he did not only preach, he quite literally lived with those whom he evangelized. Speaking of the time that he spent with the Thessalonians, Saint Paul wrote, “We were determined to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our very selves as well, so dearly beloved had you become to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). Do not underestimate the power of inviting a family over for dinner, sitting with them at mass, or including them in a social function. Community life is a critical dimension of a healthy Church. To build Catholic community is to build the Catholic Church.
Tip #3: Be Patient with Yourself and Ask Questions
Jesus founded the Church 2,000 years ago. Two thousand years is a long time for the Church to reflect on the gospel and incorporate God’s love into Catholic liturgy and devotional life. The Church was not built in a day, and devout Catholics spend their entire lives contemplating its beauty while only touching a fraction of what the Church has to offer. Be patient! You might, for example, consider learning to participate in the Catholic mass akin to learning a language. When you learn a language, there is some value to scholarly study, but language is best learned through immersion. Jump in. Ask questions and hang out with people who have been speaking the language for a long time. For long-time Catholics, one of the best things you can do for a new convert is to rub shoulders with them after mass or after other liturgical/theological experiences. Make yourself available regularly to answer questions. Who knows, you might learn a thing or two yourself!
Tip #4: Expect a Human Experience
Many new converts have a false expectation that their experience of Catholic life will be the kind of thing you might read about in a fairy tale. This is especially true for people who took a scholarly journey to the Catholic Church (reading scripture, studying Church fathers, etc.). On this point, Keith Nester has a few things to say:
I hate to break it to you, but there’s no such thing as a perfect local Church. Not even in Catholicism. I’m not talking about doctrine. I’m talking about humanity. It can be tough to face that as a convert because you came looking for the “one, true, holy, and apostolic church,” and you found it! If you think that means that all individual parishes are perfect in every way, get ready for disappointment. There are some crappy Catholic churches out there. Even though they have all the stuff that makes them Catholic, churches come with humans, and humans are the worst. They mess everything up. Even the most perfect institution on earth needs a supernatural promise from Jesus that the gates of hell will not prevail against it (Matthew 16:18).[1]
It is frequently the case that a convert’s first couple of years in the Church will involve a painful experience or two. Whether that experience is a global scandal or a local sin, what is important is that the experience be processed in a healthy, sober fashion. While such experiences sometimes become occasions for people to leave the Church, they can also be experiences that galvanize true faith. The goal for both new converts and the long-time Catholics who walk alongside them is that such experiences allow faithful men and women to put their faith more completely in Jesus Christ, not the broken individuals in the Church.
Tip #5 Actions Speak Louder Than Words
There’s an adage that says “Converts make the best Catholics.” There is some truth to that. Converts stir up the energy of the faithful. They bring a fresh perspective. They often bring other converts alongside them. That’s great and we certainly want to encourage that. Nevertheless, before you run off to change the world and reform the Church, take a moment to receive from Jesus in the context of His Church. Perhaps the best thing that you can do when you first enter the Church is to pause and take a period of time to savor the goodness of the Lord’s grace. Allow the Lord to build virtue in your life and to work on you through the sacraments. Become a holier version of yourself. Reform your actions. After all, they speak louder than your words anyway.
[1] Cf. Keith Nester, The Convert’s Guide to Roman Catholicism, p. 35.
Questions for Small Group Discussion
- Did you recently join the Church? If so, what has your experience been like? If not, do you know anyone in your parish who has recently joined the Church? How are they doing?
- For new converts, what has it been like to tell your friends that you are becoming Catholic or returning to the Catholic Church?
- For new converts, have you been able to find meaningful Catholic community? What concrete steps might you take to grow your Catholic community? For long-time Catholics, what concrete steps might you take to bring recent converts into your social circles?
- For new converts, do you feel overwhelmed by your experience of any part of Catholic life?
Examples: The mass, Catholic devotions, theology, etc. - For new converts, do you have reliable people and places where you can get answers to your questions? For long-time Catholics, are you making yourself available to the new converts in your community?
- For new converts, have you had any difficult experiences since joining the Church like scandal, isolation, abrasive personalities, etc.? Have you been able to process these experiences in a healthy way? Have they galvanized or weakened your faith?
- For long-time Catholics, do you think the new converts in your community have friends with whom they can process difficult experiences?
- For both converts and long-time Catholics alike, are you prioritizing your own journey with the Lord above everything else?
Michael Moynihan
Michael Moynihan resides in Rockville, MD with his wife, Angela, and their eleven children. He is the Head of the Upper School at The Heights School, an independent day school for boys in 3rd to 12th grade. In his free time, Michael enjoys family excursions, reading stories with his children, hiking, and camping. He has authored three books on parenting available through Scepter publishers. He is featured in the first FORGE online course, “Fathers and Sons: Conversations on Sex Ed, Marriage, and Masculinity.”